How to flirt according to science

St. Valentine’s Day is getting closer and millions of lovers all over the world exchange gifts and enjoy a romantic dinner at home or at a restaurant. It is no mystery that this festival is the first commercial event of the year: last year only in Italy it had a turnover of € 350,000,000.
Are you single but not happily single? Are you looking for someone with whom you can spend the most romantic day of the year – and therefore do the economy a favour? Have no fear: science is here to help you. We are social animals after all: as such, our tastes are guided by instinct, which can be, at least partly, be lured in our favour by some small tricks. So, if you are at a bar and see an attractive person you may want to date, keep in mind the following – scientifically guaranteed – advice.

Eye contact
In a study published in the Journal Research of Personality https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0092656689900202 the volunteers were divided in pairs. Some were asked to look at each other’s eyes, some at the hands and some to count each other’s eye blink. As a result, the couple who had looked at each other’s eyes – without counting the blinks – reported to feel more affectionate towards the other person. Maybe the reason for this is that eyes are more expressive than hands, and looking into them we can imagine the thoughts and feelings the other person is experiencing. So, if you like someone, try looking at them in the eyes, but don’t exaggerate: a prolonged stare in the eyes is perceived as aggressive and creepy (in nature, the predator stares at the prey, after all).

Forget the pick-up lines
Neither men nor women are particularly impressed by pre-prepared, cheesy pick-up lines, says the research https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00288216?no-access=true
Generally speaking, men are more comfortable with a direct approach, whereas women prefer a ‘softer’ conversation starter. With women, something based on more general topics, like “do you come here often?” has more chance of success than “I think you are cute and wanted to introduce myself”.

Smile
Well, this is pretty obvious. You don’t want the person of your dreams to think that they have the effect of an abdominal cramp on you. If you smile at someone, they are instinctively bound to think they make you happy. Moreover, smiling will make you feel more relaxed and less nervous, so you are more ready for the next step.

Buy him/her a hot beverage
The fans of The Big Bang Theory are familiar with the social benefits of a hot beverage, but apparently this kind of drink is recommendable not only in case of emotional distress, but also for romantic purposes. A research carried out by Yale university https://news.yale.edu/2008/10/23/hot-coffee-we-see-warm-heart-yale-researchers-find proved that temperature has a psychological effect on people. In fact, we tend to associate physical warmth with emotional warmth: if someone gives us a warm drink we are instinctively bound to think they are a “warm” person and they care about us. The contrary is also true: a cold beverage is associated with a cold person. What’s more, if we are consuming something that warms us up, we also tend to behave more generously. So, take advantage of the winter to ask your loved one out for a hot chocolate: I’m not a scientist but I’m not sure this can work in August, with 35°!

Non-verbal language
90% of our communication is not expressed with words, but with expression of the face and the rest of the body. If you want the other person to think you are interested on what he/she is saying, tilt your head slighly forward, as this is what people typically do when they are interested. Make sure you stand straight, with your feet pointing towards the person, as it shows confidence. Light touches are also fundamental to have the other person like you, but careful here: you don’t want to look like a maniac! A light touch on the shoulder is more than enough, but only after you’re more into the conversation and your partner shows interest in you, the researchers claim https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15534510701316177#preview%22

So, ready to break some hearts and contribute to the economy? Victoria wishes you the best of luck!